Vampire Killers

March 20th, 2009


Vampire Killers

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Still of Paul McGann, James Corden, Mathew Horne and MyAnna Buring in Vampire Killers

Their women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice.

Release Year: 2009

Rating: 5.3/10 (9,848 voted)

Director: Phil Claydon

Stars: Paul McGann, James Corden, MyAnna Buring

Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on the eighteenth birthday. On the present days, the clumsy and naive cuckold Jimmy is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best friend Fletch is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two friends are broken and decide to camp in the countryside to forget their problems, and Jimmy throws a dart in a map in a pub to decide where they should go. They head to Cragwich and when they arrive in the bar Baron's Rest, they see four hot girls leaving the place in a Kombi. The innkeeper offers the old Mircalla cottage in the woods for them, the same place the girls will lodge. Meanwhile, Lotte, Heide...

Writers: Stewart Williams, Paul Hupfield

Silvia Colloca - Carmilla
Margarita Hall - Daughter of Darkness 1
Sianad Gregory - Daughter of Darkness 2
Mathew Horne - Jimmy
Lucy Gaskell - Judy
Emma Clifford - Ms Rossi
James Corden - Fletch
Travis Oliver - Steve
Susie Amy - Blonde
MyAnna Buring - Lotte
Louise Dylan - Anke
Ashley Mulheron - Trudi
Tiffany Mulheron - Heidi
John Pierce Jones - Landlord (as John Pierce-Jones)
Steve Clark-Hall - Sidney Goatherder No.7 / The Storyteller

Taglines: They Won't Go Down Without a Bite.


Official Website: Official Sie [Australia] | Official site [France] |

Release Date: 20 March 2009

Filming Locations: Luton Hoo Estate, Luton, Bedfordshire, England, UK

Opening Weekend: £648,634 (UK) (22 March 2009) (362 Screens)

Gross: £1,581,373 (UK) (5 April 2009)

Technical Specs

Runtime:  | Germany: (European Film Market)

Did You Know?

Writers Stewart Williams and Paul Hupfield were challenged to think of the dumbest and yet most commercial title possible for a film, Lesbian Vampire Killers was the answer. They then went away and wrote the script.

Continuity: When Fletch is dancing with the girls you see him taking his jacket off. Next time you see him dancing he still has his jacket on.

Fletch: Hahahahahahahaha! It's got a big metal cock for a handle!

User Review

Went in for the title, went out with a smile

Rating: 8/10

This is one of those titles that make you expect the worst, but make you have to watch it. So I took some time on a weary afternoon, and I gave it a shot.

The first minutes I was happily surprised. Settings and costumes chosen with care, good camera-work and effects (none of the vague stuff that surrounds low-budget flicks), and some witty dialogues. Typical British, yes, but that's a positive remark. The main characters, and their main philosophy, was much to my liking. What follows is more of the same, and I never felt the need to fast-forward or to hide my face and ears in shame. My eyes definitely could appreciate the displayed beauty, whereas in England, these girls should actually be harder to find.

Okay, so the critics will bash on the plot (no sh*t, Sherlock) and the overacting in some cases (again, it's not a candidate for the Oscars). True, no need to expect the best either, but if that's what you're going for, then why choose this movie.

A good time, with true laughs ... I got what I came for.


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